Episode 51: Embracing Hope Through Connection, featuring Rayne Clarkson

In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, Podcast Host Kathryn sits down with Rayne Clarkson to explore personal experiences with mental health, hope, and overcoming life’s challenges. Rayne, a commodity manager in the semiconductor industry and avid athlete, shares her journey of navigating hopelessness, finding resilience, and prioritizing connection.

The conversation highlights Rayne’s “RayneChats” project, where she connects with 365 strangers to learn from diverse perspectives, as well as her achievements in running marathons, triathlons, and a century bike ride despite setbacks like a car accident and heart condition. Rayne and Kathryn discuss goal-setting strategies, the impact of healthy habits like exercise and time in nature, and reframing grief as an expression of deep love.

They also delve into breaking free from negative thought patterns, the role of a supportive network, and the importance of hope in mental health and suicide prevention. Rayne shares her experiences witnessing loved ones struggle with hopelessness, as well as her own journey, and how therapy and connection helped with healing.

With candid stories and actionable insights, this episode is a testament to the power of resilience, connection, and hope in navigating life’s difficulties.

More about Rayne Clarkson:

Rayne Clarkson is a storyteller, adventurer, and advocate for the power of human connection in overcoming life’s challenges. Based in Austin, Texas, and the youngest of six sisters, she learned early on that connection is where hope grows. After discovering a hole in her heart earlier this year, Rayne chose to embrace the mountains and valleys of life with courage and hope. Her journey has taken her around the globe, running a full marathon, completing a century bike ride, skydiving, and even taking on challenges like Dry 2024.

Rayne’s “Stranger Journey,” documented through her Instagram project RayneChats, began as a tribute to her Mema. While navigating grief, she honored her Mema’s remarkable ability to connect with others, which remains one of her favorite qualities. Through this project, Rayne amplifies hope by sharing the unique and inspiring stories of others, embodying her belief that meaningful connections restore faith, inspire resilience, and counter hopelessness.

With six years of experience in the semiconductor industry and an MBA in finance, Rayne combines professional expertise with a passion for growth and connection. Her story is a testament to the profound strength that comes from human connection and the courage to take on life’s challenges head-on. Whether through her adventures, her professional achievements, or her commitment to amplifying hope, Rayne inspires others to embrace life’s possibilities and find light even in the darkest moments.

Transcript

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This is Kathryn Goetzke, host of The Hope Matrix Podcast. We are here to share science, stories and strategies for how to hope. I'm the Chief Hope officer of the Shine Hope Company. And SHINE is the mnemonic for how we teach hope. So when we talk about hope, we talk about how we use Stress Skills, Happiness habits, Inspired Actions, Nourishing Networks and Eliminating Challenges which are thinking patterns that get in the way of our ability to hope. Hope is a skill. You can measure hope, you can teach hope and you can start practicing skills to activate higher hope in your life today. And on this Hope Matrix podcast, we aim to bring in guests, experts in science, people with stories, and those that have strategies for activating hope in your life. Well, hello everyone, and welcome to the Hope Matrix Podcast. Today with me. Have a guest whom I have never met before and met actually through one of our former one of our previous guest Travis. So I'm really excited to have Rayne here today. I was told I had to meet you, I had to interview you and you know, I basically do whatever the universe tells me. And Travis, as we were just chatting about, is quite the wise soul. So, I'm really grateful to have you here today. Rayne Clarkson. And just talk more, chat more with you about hope and and your shine hope story and, Yeah, just connect. I learned so much from other people when I do this work. So thank you for being here today and welcome to the show. How's everything going first? First of all, how are you doing today? Thank you so much, Kathryn, just for having me here. first and foremost, I'm just a big fan of your work. Very much believe in it. and it aligns well with my life and how I aim to live. So thank you for everything that you do. And I am so honored to be here. I'm excited to talk with you. shout out to Travis for just being an awesome, connector and introducing me to you. So I'm very grateful for him. He's he's awesome. And his podcast episode with you was so good. I love listening to it. thank you so much. Yeah. He's really he's amazing. He's so wise, so wise. So, Yeah, grateful for that for sure. Thanks for acknowledging the work. It is. this has been a long journey, long road to hope. And I learn, you know, so much from others and and from others experiences. And we learn in life the easy way or the hard way. And, you know, the goal of this is to help kind of make it a little bit easier for others. And so, thanks again for joining the show and sharing more, about you and your story and your journey, because that is really what I think helps helps others more than anything. So yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So why don't we just start? Why don't you just can you tell me a little bit about yourself? Yeah. Where are you from? Who you are. Anything you want to share is awesome. Let's do it. so my name is Rayne Clarkson. my first name is Rayne. Just pronounced just like the weather. but spelt R A Y N E. I was named, actually, after two of my very favorite people. My grandparents, my meemaw. Her name was Nelda. And my papa. His name was Ray. So they got that Ray from Ray. And then N E from Nelda to meet rainbow. That's awesome. I love being named after them. I'm glad I will say Ray Nelda, but I. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I'm from San Antonio, Texas. I currently live in Austin for the past six years and I am fun fact and the youngest of six girls. So I have oh, my mother's sisters. Wow. No boys. No boys. Oh my gosh, you're. Only, That's a lot of drama. I no, it can be. Yes, yes, I you know. All five of them are five of my very best friends. And so we get all very well. and I growing up, I didn't realize that was not always the case with siblings. So I look back, and I'm just so fortunate for just the friendships that I have with them. Yeah, that's amazing. Not all. Oh, not all sunshine and rainbows by any means, but. Right, right. The most part. and. Yeah. And so I currently am a commodity manager in the semiconductor industry is what I do. Wow. Work in, the supply chain area of that of, the customers of big semiconductor companies that make we make the machines that make the microchips. So not necessarily the microchips themselves. but in involved with that whole supply chain and do that sort of work on that end. Wow. Are you an engineer? I am supply chain is my background. I just graduated, two weeks ago now, with with my masters, MBA with a concentration in finance. Good for you. Congrats. Feels good to. Be done with school. I know, right? At least for now. You never know. There might be. More. Yes, yes. Yeah. Never know. Right now. We're doing a good break, though. Yeah. Good. Well, congrats. Big milestone. Yes. Yeah. And I think that, Yeah, there's, there's a lot of different things that, that I like to like to do. I'm very active. I love to do, running. I think we'll probably talk more about some of these things, later on, but I very much enjoy being outdoors and just very passionate about sunrises, sunsets, being with people. So that's kind. Of where we're at right now. That's awesome. There's lots of those in Austin. Such a beautiful, beautiful area. Yes. And I love the colors are so vivid there. It feels like so sunrises and sunsets. I can imagine there. Quite beautiful in that. Yeah. Yeah yeah. We actually are getting our first. Fall kind. Of because usually it just goes straight from like summer to winter. We kind of skip some seasons. so you're getting the leaves changing color right now in Austin, which is very nice. Wow. Does it get colder? I mean. Sometimes we have all the random freezes that occur every. Got it. But yeah. Right now. As much. The degrees. It's 70 right now. Yeah. But wow. Yeah I mean it's pretty warm. And Chicago you know compared to other times it's been zero a couple times. But it has been a pretty mild winter. Knock on wood. Thankfully. That was very nice. I went to Chicago for the first time. actually twice this year. I went in a two year time frame. and then early November, Oh, cool. Very pretty. Oh, awesome. Any plans to come back anytime soon? Hopefully. I, I definitely would like to, I was there for the leadership conference, but it was it was awesome. And I would I would definitely go back, especially in the fall timeframe. Real good. Yeah, I know, it's so pretty though. The summer is really pretty too. I actually we talked to Travis about getting out here, so. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So cool. So yeah, I mean, I don't know how much to share to you about what we do in here. but the goal, you know, my goal in life really is to normalize our conversation around hopelessness. the moments of hopelessness we experience. And, you know, we all experience them all the time when you break down hopelessness and what it really is looking at, you know, emotional despair, you feel bad, angry, afraid, sad, and then helpless. you know, that that kind of helplessness component of doing, of doing something about it or being able to do anything about it, and that's really those that combination of that despair and helplessness that can really get us into trouble. And, and so it's about, you know, normalizing the conversation around it and, and then talking about strategies for navigating our way through it in both the small and big challenges of life. And, you know, when hopelessness becomes persistent, that's when it becomes clinical anxiety, depression. That's when, you know, we see suicides, we see things like shootings that happen. And and you know, if, you know, in my experience, so many people fear the conversation around hopelessness and don't want to talk about it, and that it's that fear that actually it just makes it worse, makes everything worse. And so, yeah, so I'm grateful to you for joining today and being able to share, kind of your own story. and looking at something that you were challenged with and, and had a challenge with and learning from you on how you navigated your way through it, just share and examples of the kind of evidence based framework that we've created around how what we know kind of gets us to hope. But again, these skills are different for everyone. And so by sharing, you know, we help just elevate the kinds of ways we can get through through these challenges. So again, thanks for joining today. And yeah. So what is on your mind? What would you what are you open and willing to share with us. Yeah. so I, I would say that I often look at my life and I'm like, I feel like I'm constantly living in these extremes. So, like, one minute I'm on the mountaintop. I was in Machu Picchu just a week ago. hiking, the Inca Trail, three nights, four days, and just dancing on the most majestic view. And with just people from all around the world. and then I look at moments over the past year where I was, you know, crying in the kitchen on the floor of my new apartment that I just moved into that was cockroach infested, earlier, then went skydiving earlier this year and witnessed my sister give birth and got to see the miracle of life. And then I have these moments of where I went through, three car accidents at the beginning of the year, three cars, in one month. found out I had a hole in my heart. that was a huge a huge thing for me. so I look at. I look at these moments in my life of where I was literally on the mountaintops, just like so much joy. And then I have these moments where I was in just. Deep. Despair, like just in the valleys. And I know that in with having both, I am. Like, why? Why am I always in these extremes? Like, why is it just so highs and lows, highs and lows? but I look at it and I'm like, I truly can't, you can't have one without the other. And I look at the moments of when I've been on those mountaintops, and I see that I have so much more appreciation for those moments, because I've known what it feels like to be in the depths of the valleys. and I think, able to remember those moments of when I am in those valleys of like, hey, this isn't forever. There is light in the darkness. And that's something that I always try to remind myself. but through that, I think that life is truly about connection. And I think that connection is where hope grows. And so from a lot of these journeys, and things in my life, something that has been very, constant for me, that has helped me find hope is through connection. And that's with myself, with others and, with the world around me. so I'm always trying to find opportunities to connect with people. and something that has really given me hope is I've been on this, I like to call it my stranger journey. So it's the idea is that life is truly about connection. And I think similar to to you. And your approach with this podcast is that each time you interact with someone, you can learn something new. And every time that I meet a new person, I see them as someone that truly can bring value and I can learn from. And so I started this thing, I call it rain chats. It's my stranger journey where I the idea is to highlight 365 different people. and all of these interactions have been some have been just random, like, I'll be in line at a coffee shop and I, start a conversation with someone or some have been on the plane, the people I'm sitting next to. last year I was fortunate to do a trip around the globe, for my job, and met a number of people all over the world, which has been cool. But I started an Instagram account called Rain Chats to kind of just follow along, and share my journey. I take a picture of the people and I have a set of questions that I ask people. and I think that it's been so cool, Kathryn, just to learn, learn from people and hear their different perspectives. it gives me hope. And so I share it then on Instagram just to amplify that and hope. and in hopes that other people will be able to see their stories and get a little bit of hope and remind themselves that, hey, we're we're really not alone. Like, there's so many people that we're going through struggles. And so, yeah, that's a little bit about me, kind of what I like to, to really focus on in life is connection. Yeah. That is so cool. I didn't even know that rain chat. On Instagram. Yes. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's so easy to complain about things that aren't going well or that we, you know, we don't have enough friends or we don't know people or, you know, I see I, I've heard that from people and it's, it's like how how can we sell that? Then what can we do? And to me that's a perfect example of something you can do. You don't have to know anyone. You don't have to have any friends to do this. Like every day, go and connect with someone, get their story, talk to them, ask them questions, learn about them I love that. Yeah, yeah. It really, it it. Kind of started from a few things, but a big thing was, I started it shortly after I lost my meemaw, and I talked a little bit about being named after her. One of my very favorite people, was super close with her and would talk to her constantly, and ended up, she passed away. and one of my favorite things about her, was that she knew no stranger. Like, we would be, just anywhere. And she would have the ability to just dive deep with people and connect. And I would always look at how she had the ability to make people feel like they were the most important person in the world, and she would walk away. I could see that she was filled up. And I would also see that the person that she was engaged with, was a lot lighter as well. And so it was kind of I started the journey as a tribute to her, of her passing in me, honoring one of my favorite things about her. But I also have just it's become this beautiful thing because I think that people are just have this desire to connect with people and sometimes don't know how to start. And I have so many people that I'm at 180 people now is where I'm at my strength. and some of the people, it's been connections that I have just in those, in that moment and will stay connected through Instagram or some people I never have interacted with again. And some have, like now, become my very best friends that I talk to daily. So it's very cool to just see the range. But each interaction, I would say I've had so much value in it, and I still have people that will reach back out to me and be like, hey, like that really inspired me to connect with other people too. And now I'll start conversations just out in the open. and I think that it, I think often times when I've felt hopeless or very sad, I try to really go about the approach of connecting with others, because I think it always makes me feel better afterwards. And I don't know if you've heard the, the saying of if when you're feeling down, go give massive love to someone else. and it always just like, makes me feel so much better and like rain. Just get out of this darkness and, like, go find the light. Because you can find it like it's there. And sometimes it's. A lot harder to find than others. but light shows up in so many different forms through people, through sunrises and sunsets or music. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I know it's easy when we get stuck in our like, no, nobody loves me. I don't have I don't have this or that to just get to sit and that. And it's so important to stop that train of thought, that kind of challenge that you know, what our mind does and come up with a solution. Like, what can we do? And like you said, it's it's often just give what you most want and you then receive it, you know. So yeah, it's so powerful. Is there something that happened 180 days ago or whenever this started that kind of figured it or prompted it? I would say really the, the passing of my mama was a big thing of, of mean is navigating grief for the first time and grief just hits people so differently and shows up very differently. but yeah, I think that that was a big, a big thing that that triggered it just as a tribute to her. in wanting to wanting to amplify the hope, too, of that's why I share it, on Instagram, just in hopes that it will inspire others. to find hope or to find, connection with others. so. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. And when you look at hopelessness, though, and often, you know, when we lose someone that's like, of course you're in despair and of course you're experiencing helplessness because you can't bring that person back. And so it's like, and I was, you know, when I lost my dad, I was stuck in a persistent state and developed clinical depression from it because it didn't do the things that were healthy to do. And did, you know, a lot of unhealthy things. And so we talk about that despair. So it's, you know, it's sadness, it's anger, it's fear. And so losing someone of course, is going to trigger that. So how you know, how did you experience sadness in a healthy way? What did you do to process the grief to navigate your way through. Yeah. I would say a had some unhealthy ways as well of just. Isolating myself and being very just sad and sitting in my grief. But I would say some of the big things were, exercising. I started to run, and being outside in nature, I think that is a huge thing of just admiring the creation around me. I'm especially seeking sunrises and sunsets, and talking to people. I think connection was was the biggest thing that helped me through that grief and talking to others that have experienced it, too. it just gives you that feeling that you're not alone. and it makes it just a lot more manageable and really reframing the grief of. Of. How beautiful it is that I get to experience grief, how I love someone so much that it hurts this badly to be without. And I think of that all the time, of even the highs and lows of life. It's it gives you just so much appreciation. You really can't have one without the other. And I always think of the, the, the quote, for what is grief? But love endured and you would not know grief if you had not known a great love. And so I think I felt that a lot. And that gives me a lot of hope. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I know it's so powerful. It's incredible to have such, you know, deep relationships in life, you know, and and yet the other side of that is yeah, everyone passes at some point. And we've got to navigate that and we've got to find our way through it. yeah. And you talk a bit about, you know, the sadness and the isolation and you know, that that is we do that so much when we're in pain and when we lose someone. And yet that's really the time we we need to be connecting. And it's so challenging to do. So I think it's like it's a beautiful balance of, you know, having time alone to be sad and to honor and express your sadness in ways that are healthy, you know, and like you said, not get stuck in that sadness kind of cycle in the pit of sadness, and then also finding healthy ways of connecting through that, you know, in ways that work and everyone experiences grief in different ways, you know, and it needs to manage manage it in different ways. And but people do, you know, it is important to have connections and people through that. So yeah, it's really important. And then, you know, we often stop doing the things that are healthy for us. So we talk about happiness habits. And you know, you talk about running like it when we go through hard times, we often stop doing those things because we're so stuck in our sadness. And yet when we get overwhelmed with stress hormones, that's when we get sick, you know? And so learning how to cultivate those happiness habits, and those hormones that we need to, to feel good and engaged and connected in life is is super important. So you mentioned running as and get in in nature. Are there other things. Yeah. dancing I love to I'm not very good at dancing, but I get stressful meeting, turning on some music and dancing it out. I think that's such a good just stress relief of movement. Yes. And so I very much value just exercise in general. I grew up always playing sports and so I'm big on I love playing soccer and tennis and basketball. And I've really gotten into doing running. So I ran my first marathon, this past year. So that was super awesome. Yeah. I, I went to Maine and ran it there. my, I had two bucket list items. It was a run, a full marathon. And see the sunrise in Maine. because it's like the first spot. You can see the sunrise in the US. So. Interesting. Same jump together. but yeah, I would say movement is a huge thing for me. And I think that was something that really, really shook me at the beginning of the year. So I, I mentioned earlier, I found out that I had a hole in my heart. so at the very beginning of the year, I was in a car accident, told my car and was going through PT afterwards, I was struggled with my back and just, overcoming that. and I had to buy a new car because my last car was totaled, so I bought a new car. most people have, you know, a new car for, like, at least a year, before they wreck it. But I had mine for two weeks, and, yeah, I. Had my new car, and I had was just went to go get my annual physical done, and they checked me out, and they like rain. Did you know you have a heart murmur? And I was like, no, I've never been told that. And they're like, nothing to be concerned about, but we want to look into it. so so anyway, that same day I was in my car and I like, I think I was just overwhelmed by everything. I was on a meeting and had just found out about this and just a little bit kind of shaken up. But I was in a parking spot. Katherine and I back up and I. I, my car hit a fire. Hydrant and took the entire front. Off of the vehicle. Oh my gosh. And I sat there. And I just cried for an hour like I was supposed to go back into the office and, like, had all these meetings and. I just. Couldn't. I was so overwhelmed. And I, I would say that was a. Moment of hopelessness. Yeah, it's. Totally. It's like no brand new car here. so then, Shortly after that, that car was in the shop and I was borrowing my sister's old car, and I had a lot of other appointments, to go through, about my heart. In a few weeks pass, and they told me that they they found, a hole in, between my upper chambers of my heart, and made my whole heart quote, like, enlarged, because of the extra blood flow. and so that same day, I was driving my sister's car back from that appointment of finding that out, and I think I was just kind of all over the place again. And, all of a sudden the car is like, not going past 20mph on the highway. And I'm like. Oh my gosh, what's going on? So it broke down. On the. Highway and I was running for four. Hours. So I just so I went through, three cars in the span of one month. Oh my gosh. But yeah, and. Just went through a bunch of different, tests. And I think finding out about the hole in my heart was, was super scary for me. One of just I am big on exercising, and one thing that is huge on my mental health is movement. And having that fear of of losing that in some cases. I had to wear a heart monitor for, a while, and I had a live phone that was monitoring me. I was going through, just a bunch of overwhelming, in and out of the hospital and those sort of things. And I think I didn't want to accept that it was real. I think I kind of, a lot of times I suppress it and be like, okay, if I don't think about it, it's not. It's not a thing. Yeah. But what I tried to really shift my focus was on things that I could control, and I didn't want to give up movement. So I did things that I could still control. and I didn't let it hold me back. Kathryn, even though I knew that, that this was a thing, I ran my first. I ran two half marathons this year. I ran my first full marathon. I ran my first, I did my first century bike ride. So, 100 mile bike ride. yeah. Wow. Olympic triathlons. so I was. Trying not to let those things, hold me. Back. Yeah. Yeah, I'm assuming with, like, doctor approval and healthy ways. I guess for the most part. Yeah, maybe this varies a little bit, but, But, yes, you're in taking care of yourself. Yeah. Being smart. Yeah. Good. I know, I mean, it's so important. Like when we are, you know, if you break a leg, I mean, you know, I blew my knee up. You got to exercise in a different way. You've got, like, I've got to exercise. Movement is so critical for me too. And so it's like I had to get creative about how I did that. I mean, even, you know, moving my arms or doing weights, like with, you know, just anything, you know, super important and building ourselves back up to the best of our ability to, you know, that we can, yeah. That's amazing. That's that's. So good. How do you set goals? So when you take, you know, when you're like, I'm going to do it, how do you do it? So I mean, that's a good question. I love setting goals. I'm constantly, writing out things that I want to want to accomplish. and I do them, so, for example, this year I wanted to run the full marathon. So I wrote that out, and I have I say I write it out as my adventure list. for. Nice. Yes, I love it. I'm very much like pen and paper. I love checking, taking it all. Yeah. Friday, I got to check one off. I had bought a new car, and my goal was to pay it off in a year, and so I paid it off on Friday, so I got to do that. Oh my gosh, that's awesome. Congrats. Thank you. say. Having them written out is like huge for me in my goal setting. And I love being able to, share it also with others. And I like to ask my friends what goals are you working on? And, have them hold me accountable. And if there's anything we can do together, do those. Like, for example, the marathon I did in Maine, I did it was one of my best friends from middle school. and we ran that together. So that was really fun. That is so awesome. You're just like a living, shining example of hope. That's so good. That's what we know about goals, you know, goal hope is a lot about goals. Like what do you hope for and like can you get there and and writing down your goals and checking in with someone regularly. You're like up to 95% more likely to achieve, if you do those two things and you know, you're not necessarily like, did you learn that in school? Where did you, you know. Question I don't know. I've always been very much a visual person. So I like to. Have. I always have my, planner and I'm like, okay, this is what I'm doing in the day, maybe sometimes a little excessively if like, I like to open and, like, relook at my goal and like, what goal can I check out some like, oh, I have skydiving on here. Okay, I'm going to do it this weekend. Like, I mean look at like like oh I. To go to Machu Picchu okay. I went last week and like some of those things. But I think that was another huge thing that I have just learned over the past. I think with discovering the hole in my heart, it kind of made me understand just my mortality. You know, if it's just too short not to make the most of every single moment, of every connection of every day. And so I always want to make sure I'm making the most of every single day. And that was a big thing of my list. And like, okay, I have this bucket list. Like, why? and things I want to do, I'm like, what's what's stopping me? Why not just do them right? Right. A little about how many things do you have on it? you know, I don't know, I think I. I have I don't know the exact count now, but I had at 1.100 things, and, so, I learned this from, a very good mentor of mine. so I have my, like, adventure list, and then after I do things, I move it to my smile file so I can go back and reflect on. And, like, like, brings me joy. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. My smile. Smile. Good one. Nice. That's awesome. And I think. Having goals and things to look forward to, I think that is a huge thing for me. especially if I'm in moments of feeling down or having a hard time. I'm like, okay, what? Is there something that I can plan? Is there a trip? Is there something that I can sign up to do? Is there a cooking class I can take? What is something that's been on your list that I can, go and plan? I know that's the huge thing for me is having something to look forward to. And absolutely that's that's key to hope. So yeah, when you're feeling down. But think about exactly just that. Like what can I do in the future future oriented that I could look forward to and that I could work towards and take steps towards and and yeah, so, so important. you know, the E and R shine is eliminating challenges which are thinking patterns or negative thought patterns that get in the way of our ability to hope. So thing is like rumination when we internalize failures. So like we fail at something and then we're like, I'm a failure. I'm horrible at everything. You know, I suck. things like worrying about the future. You mentioned controlling things outside of your control, like trying to do that. We we try to do that all the time, and that leads to hopelessness. You know, things like, let's see, attaching to outcomes is a big one when we get really attached to our goals. Like for attach to that specific goal, it doesn't work. We can of course, we're going to get into that despair and helplessness kind of cycle. So what are confirmation bias. Negative bias or like so many things that our brain does that just kind of works against us for, you know, everything we hope for. So do you have any of those challenges? Do you. Care? Yes, absolutely. Yes. I would say one of my biggest, A lot of those resonated with me. But one of my biggest is that I am often a perfectionist. So and I, I very much tend to be a people pleaser. So that is something that I am continuing to overcome. that, but when I care a lot about often others opinions and recently I let someone's opinion. Be way too loud in my head. and way. Too much space and cause a lot of doubt, in my ability had me questioning myself. And I think that, caused me to to ruminate, quite a bit and go into a little bit of depression at times of like, thinking. I really started to believe what they said about me. And so, yeah, I would say that that's something that I definitely struggle with. but learning to overcome. yeah. Yeah. And what do you do to navigate it? Yeah. That's it. I would say one of the biggest things is stepping into something new. so oftentimes either. Like trying something new or removing myself from the situation, I think a big thing as well is I feel very fortunate that I have a lot of great people in my life. I have some incredible mentors. So, like, calling my board of advisors, I'm. Sure you've heard that term or. Yeah, but people that. That very much support me in that I, that I value their opinions and thoughts. And so I'll, go to some of them, and just try to work through like, hey, what is it that I could be doing differently and have them help support me to do, that differently or to just have them speak words of encourage? Oftentimes, I think that it takes someone else believing in you for you to believe in yourself. And I feel so fortunate that I have people in my life that oftentimes, would believe in me more than I believed in myself. And that was huge. I think they don't even know the impact that they've had on me. and even just just strangers in some cases of kindness and where people are, I've been so down or sad and just people showed me little glimmers of light. that meant more than they would ever know. I look at. Those moments, and it makes me just want to always make sure I'm giving that to other people as well. It's like I realize how much that meant to me, those little things and like, took me out of dark times. so I want to be able to do that for others as well. Yeah, yeah. Every interaction we have matters. You know so much. We have no idea what other people are going through or what they're experiencing and how meaningful full a deep like a deep look into someone's eyes and a smile and a, you know, kind of connection. And like you said, strangers. And I think it's so beautiful that you're doing that, with your Instagram and, and, 180 and it'll be 1000 someday, I'm sure. It's so cool to think about just all the connections you know, you'll be making throughout your life as you do those. That's so cool. yeah. And you talked about, like, the perfection is. I mean, one thing I think is fascinating about our brain and one of the things our brain does, it's got this negative bias. So, you know, 100 people could be saying kind of loving, affirming things to us about how amazing and how good we are at this or why we have value and and our brain will listen to that one that says something negative. You know, it's just that's how our brain is wired. And then it'll like get ruminate on that negative thing. And it just it does. It has the power to just take over our whole brain. And then that can be our. Yeah. And it's kind of amazing that it does that. And to me, I think just even knowing that fact that our brain does that and it's just a tendency and it's an old thing that used to help us like look for threats in our environment and keep us safe, but that it's an old, outdated mechanism in our brain that we just really have to kind of retrain to go back to those things that are positive and that. So, you know, I never I didn't like the, the word of for affirmations. I just thought they're crazy. And yet I find they're so valuable and so important. And when I start to hear any of the negative things louder that I'm thinking of, the positive things that I bring, those affirmations into my life and say them and repeat them so that, you know, as you do that, you take that focus, that tendency of your brain to focus on that negative kind of chatter. And, you know, it can just take the steering wheel and go and just drive you into this pit of despair, you know, and it's horrible that it does that. so it's really important and it's really just about being intentional. And, you know, so much of what other people say about us is based on their own experiences and their own baggage and their own, you know, projecting oftentimes. And so kind of becoming aware of that and, and have having compassion for those people and also, you know, having healthy boundaries around it. And, you know, you talk about the importance of network. And it's really, you know, it's not the quality of our network. It's really the quality. And like, are they healthy for us? Are they helping us move towards our goals, or are they kind of getting in the way and holding us back or keeping us down? And it's important to kind of identify that and reflect on that. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think walking. Into you or they, making you feel like you're pouring from an empty cup sort of thing they take. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. Well, so how are you and how is your heart these days? It feels warm. Full these net. Yes. yeah. So right now I got, cleared to live this beautiful thing called life. and. Yeah, just something to to monitor over time. they said that at this point, it would do more damage to go in and do surgery to correct it. So just living with this, this hole and filling it with, All the good things life has to offer, all the. Things I love it. Yeah. That's amazing. Oh, good for you. Good for you. So what's next on your list? I would say that. The. Machu Picchu and pain of the car were huge ones and skydiving. And I added five new states, this past year. I'm trying to get all 50 states. is is kind of on the plan, but next, going to Africa next year. so, whereabouts? Yoga? Wellness? 749. Yeah. Oh, really super excited about that. Yeah. And. but yeah, this is the time of year that I'm going to rewrite out my goals. Yeah, sort of next year. So I'm excited about that. so I haven't spent as much time, doing that at this time, but, with finishing school, I actually just been, switched jobs, This month, Month ago so that the past, my past role for six years. And now I just joined a new company. But, yeah. I feel like there's, a lot of great opportunity ahead. yeah. Yeah. One of the really cool things that you brought up about hope throughout all of this is, you know, hope is one of the only things Dan Tomasello wrote Learn hopefulness. He's kind of one of my advisors, as you said. And next words, he, talks about hope is the one thing that you need the negative to kind of get to the positive, you know, so it's like having that contrast. And if we can start to embrace that contrast, because it really gives us insight into what we care about, what's important to us, what how the how that, you know, anger that's like how deeply we feel, we can use that to propel us to what we aspire to, what we seek, what what we hope for, and give us some momentum to get there. And I think that's a, you know, you put it so beautifully. I think in, in, you know, the hills and the valleys and, you know, it is like you do have those moments where you're just like in a heap on the floor, like, I can't can I can I navigate, can I get through this? And then you are like on the top, like looking over Machu Picchu going, oh my God, what an absolutely amazing, extraordinary place. This is, you know, and that's it's very like that's what life is. So, you know, I believe and and Dan says it's the hope is rare in that in that you know it it takes really both sides. so that's really, really cool that you, you knew that already. So learning. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly. It's a process. It's just a matter of remembering when we're on the in a heap on the floor that, you know, there is that other side and we can get there. And it takes work on our part, you know, and it sounds like you're doing the things to do the work, you know, which is also another important kind of part of hope is we it's, you know, our hope is up to us really. You know, connections fuel it absolutely for sure. And yet we've got to do the work to make the connections or, you know, to to get out of our despair and get back to feeling better and and to get out of our helplessness and take action where we can. And so, you know, and it's I believe it's like a muscle and you have to build it. You have to learn kind of how to hope, you know, how to get good at hope the process. So yeah. Is there anything else you want to share with our listeners again, your Instagram so we can it is. Rain chats R A Y and E and then chats if you want to follow along on the journey. so with a y and I love it rain. Yes. Well I any rain chats on Instagram so super cool. So you can see all of the strangers or people that rain is meeting all over and maybe be inspired to start your own, or to start having conversations with strangers. Because I do agree with you. Everyone has something to teach us. Every single person on this planet has something to teach us, and it's up to us to kind of discover that. So yeah. Awesome. Any final, final thoughts or words that you want to share? Yeah, I just want to thank you just for for everything that you do. I think that when I first, heard from you and heard about what your mission is, I got just so excited about it, Catherine, because I've just I've especially in, just sometimes in my industry that I'm in, I've had people that that have really reiterated to me that hope is not a business model. And I struggle with that because I am a very hopeful person and finding you and. Your. Work. I was like, this is exactly what I believe in. And like, I just love what you're sharing and how you have all of the research and the things that back it, I think is such a powerful, just message to people. And I'm like, I just want to tell everyone, listen to this. Like is real. And it is measurable and you need hope in your life. I think that without hope, it's, it's not necessarily a life worth living like. It's it's hard to live without hope. So I just want to thank you so much for just the message that you share and the light that you are to others. Oh thank you. That's so kind. I really appreciate that. Yeah, there's a famous business book. Hope is not a strategy, which works against me doing work in the business world. And yet I have an MBA as well. And I'm a very, you know, I'm a strategist by nature, and I think hope is the most important, important strategy in the workplace when you look at and it's a top four need of employees. So it's super important. So I'm glad to hear that you're spread the message. Yeah, it is measurable. And you know, if you measure your hope in the workplace, it's going to tell you so much about your workplace outcomes. And when you think about hope, it's all about goals. So and workplaces are really built on goals and attaining goals and overcoming obstacles to goals. So yeah. Different than a vision. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. That's I mean that's really my definition of hope is it's a vision for something in your future and you fuel it with positive feelings and then inspired actions. You know that. Yeah. So awesome. So if your workplace ever needs, you know, some someone to come do some work with them and hope I'm more than happy. I love I love talking to work especially, you know, engineers and, and and the more manufacturing type of the more and a little, you know, folks so getting them and understanding your perspective. Yeah, exactly. And then an understanding of how feelings like fuel that as well and can either support us or get in the way of our ability to hope. Super important. yeah. Awesome. So thank you for bringing that up and and for honoring my work, I appreciate it. It's not it's not been an easy journey to hope, that's for sure. There's, you know, investing in in a preventative protective factors often not something we do as a society. And yet we're, we're we're making that turn. So I'm super grateful. And a lot of work on hoped to come. So I'm looking forward to seeing connected with you. And I thank you for sharing your story and your experience and your strategies for Hope. Really helpful. I learned a lot and I'm super grateful. And to all the listeners for listening and thank you so much. you know, we we aim to educate and inspire here. So, thinking that hopefully you got some good stuff out of this. And, we thank you for listening in. And if someone says so inspired, please do share this with others. And rain, thanks again. Have a wonderful day. And as we say, keep shining, keep shining. Hope. Thanks a lot. Thank you all for listening in to the Hope Matrix podcast. We want to shine a light that hope is teachable. Hope is measurable and teachable and provide you with actionable insights for how you can start activating hope in your life today and provide a framework so you can start talking about hope with other people and practice these skills together because we are better with hope. Please feel free to check out theshinehopecompany.com, where we list all of our resources around how to Hope. We have a lot of free programs for how to hope, including the five day Challenge, our Hope infographic with a lot of skills that showcase how to hope and articles of how to incorporate hope in your life. We have The Hopebeat Weekly, which is a weekly newsletter that shares strategies for hope. We have a My Hope Story templates so you can write your own Hope story today. Also my Hope Hero so we can share what our heroes are doing to activate hope in their lives. And this is especially good with youth so they can start looking up to people that have overcome similar or challenges to them and seen how these heroes use the Shine Hope framework. We have a Hopeful Minds for Teens program and Hopeful minds Overview Educator Guides. We have a new evidence based college course so you can activate Hope on the college campus. There are programs in the workplace. Overview courses 90 minute courses for learning the what, why and how to hope. What I want you to know about hope is it's a skill. You've got to practice these skills to become hopeful. It's easy to fall into despair and helplessness when we deal with challenges in life, and it takes intentional work and practice to get to hope. And yet it is always possible. So no matter what life brings. Keep shining hope. Thanks so much for listening and have an awesome day. And of course, I’ve got to add this, that this program is designed to assist you in learning about hope should not be used for medical advice, counseling, or other health related services. iFred, The Shine Hope Company and myself, Kathryn Goetzke do not endorse or provide any medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. I am not a medical doctor. The information provided here should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition and cannot be substituted for the advice of physicians, license professionals or therapists who are familiar with your specific situation. Consult a licensed medical profession or call 911. If you are in need of immediate assistance and be sure to know the crisis Hotline. 988. If you are in need of support. Thanks so much for listening. Take good care of yourself and keep shining hope.